Topics Topics Edit Profile Profile Help/Instructions Help Member List Member List  
Search Last 1|3|7 Days Search Search Tree View Tree View  

Punishment vs. Erotic Spanking

SpankSpot Forums » Secret Desires Archive » Real Discipline Issues » Punishment vs. Erotic Spanking « Previous Next »

Author Message
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Daisysue (Daisysue) (67.48.9.165)
Posted on Monday, September 16, 2002 - 08:36 am:   Edit Post

I have a question. I am fond of saying Never Say Never and I now have to apply it to myself.

I am considering asking my husband for a punishment spanking in order to help me break a habit which has recently become a problem for me. My usual methods don't seem to working in this particular case. Most of you know that we do erotic spankings only and have really just begun doing those. I really want to break this habit.

He has already told me that he doesn't mind giving me fun spankings but doesn't think he could ever do a punishment one. I think I could warm him up to the idea (no pun intended) though. My very first fun spanking didn't go all that well and it felt more like punishment than fun but it was so mild because he was afraid of hurting me and I was afraid of being hurt because it was the first time. But it did hurt and one of my comments was "Wow, if this is even a little bit what a punishment spanking feels like, I would never be bad." In other words, I think a punishment spanking might help with this particular problem. Knowing myself, I don't even think he would have to do it. Just knowing that he would, would be incentive for me to get on the ball with this. It is possible I would need one though.

Which brings me to the actual question, which is would it kill my desire for erotic spankings? I know from hanging around this board that it doesn't seem likely that that would happen but I read something Bethany wrote on her site that said just the opposite. She said sometimes someone fantasizes about being spanked and then once they actually get one they choose never to do it again. I don't want that to happen because I really like the fun ones.

What are your thoughts? Thanks.

Barb
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Kellie (Kellie) (152.163.189.232)
Posted on Monday, September 16, 2002 - 10:35 am:   Edit Post

Barb,
Not sure what help I can give you but I do have a few thoughts to share.

I think, and I could be wrong but when Bethany wrote that she was talking about getting your first spanking, for that any spanking would work. For some woman I think once they have a spanking they find out they don't like it as much as they thought they would. You are, I think past that you like the erotic spankings you have gotten. I don't believe, although it could happen that if you were to get a punishment spanking you would never want another spanking. Everyone is different and so are their reactions to a punishment. (no help I know)

I enjoy a good erotic spanking but I also want/need the punishment ones too. Not the spankings but the accountablity that I would be held to. I have had a few punishment spankings after my weekly one. They hurt a lot, for me anyway. But after them I felt much better. I have a problem with guilt and I have learned that punishment spankings help me with that.

I'm speaking for myself here Barb, not what you should do or not do. You have the answer already within you and I know you will find it.

Kellie
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Sunshine (Sunshine) (62.253.128.7)
Posted on Monday, September 16, 2002 - 11:37 am:   Edit Post

Not sure I can help on this one either but you did mention that your husband wouldn't feel comfortable with the idea. Perhaps you need to discuss what you want to change with him first, see what his views are on it. Your husband may well feel happier and more comfortable with just erotic spankings until he gets to know what your reaction will be, your body language... Perhaps you may feel happier him just noticing your habit and mentioning it when it occurs... I think a punishment spanking is not necessarily the difference in severity but the difference in your mindset.

sunshine
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Paddy (Paddy) (199.91.36.254)
Posted on Monday, September 16, 2002 - 11:51 am:   Edit Post

I think a punishment would be different.

You would have to ask him to spank to hurt (I mean cause pain) and to expect you to complain and maybe buck. If you can make him understand that you want an aversion, and you want the spanking to work that way, it might work.

I also think Bethany was referring to "first time" and was also talking about women who set things up so that it was not necessarily with someone who was committed to them.

Being punished by spanking is an embarrassing, sometimes humiliating and all around uncomfortable reality. The psycological experience alone is a powerful aversion.

I can tell you that I have never lost my "taste" for sexy spanking play, and I have had a lot of punishment spankings.

Good luck, and be prepared. It will be uncomfortable for both of you. But it is worth it if you can make it work. So many things are just faster with spanking as discipline.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Wildkat (Wildkat) (209.161.165.26)
Posted on Monday, September 16, 2002 - 06:27 pm:   Edit Post

Hi Barb...

I think you have to change your mindset when you are getting either erotic or punishment spankings as the two are so very different...

When we are about to receive a punishment spanking we all KNOW we did something wrong and deserve what we are about to get despite how much is going to hurt and why it has to be given...so we have a mindset ready for all the emotions and feelings we will be going thro...

Erotic spankings they are so much different in how they are given (intensity/pace) we are feeling much more relaxed in mindset and want to just go with the flow of things...

You will find that you wont need punishment spankings often after the first real one...and crave for the erotic ones...:)

Good luck barb *hugs*


catrun.gif wildkat (Moderator)
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Daisysue (Daisysue) (67.48.9.165)
Posted on Monday, September 16, 2002 - 08:41 pm:   Edit Post

Thank you all for your input. Each of you said valuable things and made good points which have helped.

While thinking it all over, I thought of something that might work. Maybe I could use the erotic spankings as incentives. Like you say Kat I have begun to crave erotic spankings. I get one once a week and each week he is getting better at giving them. Maybe if I do what I need to do during the week, I get rewarded with a spanking. If I don't, I don't get one. Just the thought of this is making me have a strong desire to get with the program because I would hate not to get one. Now that I know that I like them I don't want to stop. I think he is liking to give them too. (I hope I haven't created a monster, lol). Maybe I could even get an extra one for surpassing a goal. Oh well, you all probably think I've lost it but I need to think about all this.

I really do appreciate all of your thoughtful answers and they helped a lot. They really did. Thanks!

Barb :)
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Shygirl (Shygirl) (216.67.203.203)
Posted on Tuesday, September 17, 2002 - 12:43 am:   Edit Post

I don't think you've lost it, Barb. I have enjoyed erotic spankings for years, and I can fully understand that NOT being able to have one when you want could be a deterrant.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Joannie (Joannie) (24.210.255.78)
Posted on Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 04:35 pm:   Edit Post

So, Barb, what did you and your hubby decide to do about this??? For me there is a big difference between the erotic and punishment types. One is definitely a deterrent, but I know me well enough to know that telling me he will take away a spanking if I do something bad just wouldn't work with me. WEG He would completely regret that very quickly... Would like to know what conclusions you came to, and if it is working for you...

hugggs,
joannie
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Daisysue (Daisysue) (67.48.9.165)
Posted on Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 10:42 pm:   Edit Post

Well I kind of just got up the nerve to mention it to him. Not that I can't talk to him about anything, I can. He is the greatest guy. It just took me a while to mention it. He just listened and for the time being we just decided to do as Sunshine mentioned. He will just remind me so I'll kind of feel more accountable and less likely to slack off. He wasn't turned off by the suggestion though. I wasn't sure how he would feel since what he had said earlier about not feeling comfortable giving punishment spankings. Like I said, he's a great guy. I think he would do almost anything for me but right now I'm even confused as to what I want so anyway that's how we're handling it for now. We do the play spankings once a week now and he doesn't mind doing that at all. In fact, I think he kind of likes it. So I'm just grateful for that because I've always fantasized about being spanked but I never thought I would even feel comfortable bringing it up. We both feel it's the best thing I ever did because, without getting too personal, it has improved our sex life. Now he told me things that I could do to please him also and we are having more fun. Gosh, I am so embarrassed saying this stuff. I just mean it was always good but now it's better. Anyway,that's the latest,lol. Are you sorry you asked? Gosh, I wish guys weren't reading this.(blushing,lol)

Barb (sorry I needed a little comic relief there at the end because I usually don't talk about such personal things)
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Keg (Keg) (198.81.16.172)
Posted on Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 10:49 pm:   Edit Post

Daisysue;

Don't feel embarassed about us.We've ALL
donated to that cause one time or another.

JT[We can't comment if you don't mention it]
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Joannie (Joannie) (24.210.255.78)
Posted on Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 11:01 pm:   Edit Post

Barb, didn't mean to embarrass you, but my Daddy was famous for saying, "You can't know nothing if you don't ask..." I always ask... WEG
(And, at least I did have the manners not to ask what habit you wanted to break... weg)

Anyway, nothing to be embarrassed over. We take discussing personal matters in stride here. It is how we all grow and learn. One thing I have learned... the more important and personal the matter to discuss with Lar, the harder it is for me to bring it up. You're on the right path now. Good luck.

hugggs,
joannie
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Daisysue (Daisysue) (67.48.9.165)
Posted on Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 11:08 pm:   Edit Post

Thanks JT, it is nice of you to say that. I appreciate it. I wouldn't have posted it at all if I didn't feel comfortable with you all but it's still a little embarrassing, so thanks.

Barb
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Daisysue (Daisysue) (67.48.9.165)
Posted on Sunday, September 22, 2002 - 11:25 pm:   Edit Post

Oops, we're all posting at the same time. Thanks to you too Joannie and I'm not tellin' what the habit is but it's nothing earth shattering but it's important to me.

You're right about asking though and I'll leave you with a Sesame Street quote (trust me I know 'em all). I watch that dang show every day except on weekends, lol. As Telly monster says and I quote... "Asking questions is a good way to find out things." lol

Barb
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Minx (Minx) (64.12.96.237)
Posted on Monday, September 23, 2002 - 07:02 am:   Edit Post

I bet you know this one too Barb "Ask Questions! Get Dirty! Make Mistakes!"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Daisysue (Daisysue) (67.48.9.165)
Posted on Monday, September 23, 2002 - 09:43 am:   Edit Post

Nope I can't say I've heard that one Minx. I do the first and the last one but, of course, never the middle one.

Barb (yeah right, that one's the most fun) lol
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Minx (Minx) (64.12.96.237)
Posted on Monday, September 23, 2002 - 06:21 pm:   Edit Post

anyone?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Minx (Minx) (64.12.96.237)
Posted on Monday, September 23, 2002 - 06:45 pm:   Edit Post

it might be "Ask questions. Take chances. Make Mistakes!"
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Paddy (Paddy) (64.12.96.237)
Posted on Monday, September 23, 2002 - 06:57 pm:   Edit Post

Make mistakes? who me???? hehehehehe

Take chances? or Get dirty? hehehehe ok, I'm game.

Ask questions? yup constantly, I make Fred crazy.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Minx (Minx) (205.188.209.112)
Posted on Monday, September 23, 2002 - 08:55 pm:   Edit Post

lol yes but what children's program has that as a motto?
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Naughtymom (Naughtymom) (24.62.123.212)
Posted on Monday, September 23, 2002 - 09:07 pm:   Edit Post

Take chances, make mistakes, GET MESSY!
magicschoolbus

Beep Beep!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Daisysue (Daisysue) (67.48.9.165)
Posted on Monday, September 23, 2002 - 09:14 pm:   Edit Post

Don't know Minx. I didn't understand what you meant. There was/is a show for older kids called Double Dare. I'm not sure what they did but there were physical challenges involved. To win, they had to hunt for hidden flags, slide down slides into pudding and stuff like that. Do you actually know what show it is and you are asking us to guess or are you trying to remember the name of the show and asking for our help in figuring out what it is called?

Barb
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Daisysue (Daisysue) (67.48.9.165)
Posted on Monday, September 23, 2002 - 09:22 pm:   Edit Post

Naughtymom,

Oops, I didn't see your post before I did mine. It looks like you know! My kids are too young for the Magic School Bus but I remember the series of books from when I worked in an elementary school. Isn't it actually a science series?

Barb
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Minx (Minx) (205.188.209.112)
Posted on Monday, September 23, 2002 - 09:30 pm:   Edit Post

theoretically, but it's also a bus load of fun. My kids watched it when they were pretty young. Learned a surprising amount, too.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Paddy (Paddy) (64.12.96.237)
Posted on Monday, September 23, 2002 - 09:32 pm:   Edit Post

OK you guys,,, hehehehe take a look at the title of this thread,,,,

no more magic school bus in the erotic spanking folder or I'm gonna go into patty's a brat mode....

There are too many funny and inappropriate things swimming around in my mind here....

k? phred on your head, Mr Rogers Sesame street and Sex in the City????? hehehehehe
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Minx (Minx) (205.188.209.112)
Posted on Monday, September 23, 2002 - 09:41 pm:   Edit Post

well, yeah, but think of the places you could GO in a magic school bus...WEG and getting messy is about right.

OK, it's out of my system. NOW I'll behave lol
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Paddy (Paddy) (64.12.96.237)
Posted on Monday, September 23, 2002 - 11:38 pm:   Edit Post

HA! Corrupting Barb, and Moe! I think that's worse than cursing. Magic school bus indeed!

Next thing you know you'll be advocating spanking with headless and armless barbies.

eeeek!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Preacher_Man (Preacher_Man) (24.165.46.86)
Posted on Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 03:05 am:   Edit Post

Okay Paddy,
That last one had me laughing. Headless and armless barbies. Now I've got a picture to carry around in my head the rest of the week. WEG

-CJ
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Preachers_Wife (Preachers_Wife) (24.165.46.86)
Posted on Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 03:43 am:   Edit Post

WHAT????? Patty gave you many, many other pictures to carry around!!! They were all better than a headless and armless barbie, I mean surely the smurf one is better...LOL
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Minx (Minx) (152.163.189.232)
Posted on Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 05:59 am:   Edit Post

You forgot to mention kellie and Fayeth, and CJ. I've been working very hard at my corrupting, wouldn't want you to leave anyone out...
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Minx (Minx) (152.163.189.232)
Posted on Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 06:08 am:   Edit Post

and that's right, thank you, fayeth, let's remember who was doing what to sweet little teddy bears and smurfs lol.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Daisysue (Daisysue) (67.48.9.165)
Posted on Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 08:50 am:   Edit Post

Oh man, why did you have to mention Mr. Rogers. I love Mr. Rogers!

Barb (cause he loves me just the way I am) (he always says that just in case you don't happen to watch the show)lol
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Naughtymom (Naughtymom) (24.62.123.212)
Posted on Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 08:51 am:   Edit Post

I always had my suspicions about Mr. McFeely and his "speedy delivery".WEG

Minx, stop corrupting me!
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Minx (Minx) (198.175.242.109)
Posted on Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 09:15 am:   Edit Post

Moe, are you SURE you want me to stop??
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Mr2334 (Mr2334) (66.68.57.223)
Posted on Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 09:20 am:   Edit Post

The Mr. Rogers I know spent some time this morning showing me that even though he loves me, there is some room for improvement. The Mr. Rogers I know would appreciate it if I controlled my temper a bit more.


Sorry, couldn't resist.

Missy

Oh, and to keep with the theme of the thread.......We'd planned some erotic spanking for last night, but due to an incident with a roll, a child, and a dog, the punishment took precedence. And, since feelings were still a little raw last night, it took place this morning after the kids went to school.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Daisysue (Daisysue) (67.48.9.165)
Posted on Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 09:36 am:   Edit Post

LOL, Mr. McFeely and his "speedy delivery" does sound bad. I never thought of that before. I'm never going to think about him the same way again.

So your Mr. Rogers likes you over his knee huh Missy, lol.

Barb (never thought about being over Mr. Roger's knee) (somehow I don't think it's appropriate to think those thoughts), yuck, lol.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Paddy (Paddy) (64.12.96.237)
Posted on Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 09:36 am:   Edit Post

HA Minx! You'll get yours. Armless headless GI Joe's hurt too just you wait.

Barb take care now, we wouldn't want to attract the cyber censors hehehehehehehe but the associations that could be made from kiddie show phrases are scarey..... WEG

Aw Missy, now you know you'll have to expand on that story some, maybe in a story or in the C&P folders,,, but for now I'll live with my imaginary version... Dinner roll bombing using the dog for a target?????? hehehe or an "eat it or else" mom threat & the dog did eat it,,, but it was the kid who should have????

Both involve Mom loosing patience,,,

there are others, but I doubt a kid would be in those... and I doubt they would have chjanged erotic plans either...

Gawwwwwwd... kiddie shows & food!!!! look at what you guys do to my mind.... Sheesh... good thing I'm off to work. Who knows what you'll come up with all day.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Naughtyangel (Naughtyangel) (207.211.188.228)
Posted on Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 02:03 pm:   Edit Post

Well heck! Why don't we just take Barney's theme song for the SS theme?

I love you, you love me,
We're a happy family......

Headless and armless Barbies and GI Joes?? Gracious, the stuff that comes up. What an image! Almost as good as a certain Brat that spanks the monkey while driving down the road. WEG

Love, Che'
Naughty gif
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Minx (Minx) (205.188.209.112)
Posted on Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 07:56 pm:   Edit Post

Wait, Patty, I already got mine, remember? Dungeon, cuffs? Bringing back memories now?
And I was thinking food analogies would probably be next, now that we've sort of DONE animals. Of course, I'd never thought of toys or Mr. Rogers'. The Neighborhood could probably fill a whole chat.
Top of pagePrevious messageNext messageBottom of page Link to this message

Preachers_Wife (Preachers_Wife) (24.165.46.86)
Posted on Tuesday, September 24, 2002 - 10:08 pm:   Edit Post

why, why, why?????????????????

Add Your Message Here
Posting is currently disabled in this topic. Contact your discussion moderator for more information.

Administration Administration Log Out Log Out   Previous Page Previous Page Next Page Next Page